SUPERBOWL WEEKEND!!!
As if there were actually something taking place this weekend of more importance than what might take place on any other weekend of the year. Nevertheless, John Scalzi had to present us with a weekend assignment, and if it didn't have anything to do with the Superbowl, nobody would have paid attention to this one. So, John's weekend assignment for the weekend beginning February 4th, 2005 reads thusly:
Weekend Assignment #46: Make one new rule to apply to the Super Bowl. This new rule can apply to any aspect of the Super Bowl, from the game to the spectators, to the halftime show, to the commercials. If it's got something to do with the Super Bowl, you can make up a rule about it.
Extra Credit: Your pick for winner of the Super Bowl. Naturally, don't bother doing the extra credit if it's Sunday evening.
Well, I live in Canada, where we still play football by men's rules. No fair catch. Only three downs. Bigger field. Goalposts over goal line means missed field goals are live, and can be run back for a touchdown. You know, just an all around more exciting game to watch. That's why we don't need a monster song and dance show to wake up the spectators halfway through the game. Whatever.
Anyway, John is looking for a rules suggestion. Personally, as I alluded to above, there is no single rule change that could improve the American game. I would like to propose a rule for the Canadian media; a rule that would make the game at least moderately interesting to a Canadian audience.
Allow me to start with a little background. In Canada, the game will be available via the American broadcasters, FOX, or the Canadian broadcasters, Global TV. The Canadian network, of course, will show their own commercials, and not the American commercials everybody wants to see. The American network's commercials, the ones advertisers paid a super-gajillion dollars to show during the game, will be shown on FOX.
But.
You knew there was a but. Why the hell else would I be going on like this? Canadian cable TV and satellite companies are required by law to remove the commercials from the American broadcasts they provide to their subscribers, replacing them with Canadian ads. So, the only way a Canadian can see those wonderful ads, is if they receive their television signals via antenna, and live close enough to the border that they can pick up a FOX affiliate. I don't need to tell you, that's not a shit-load of people.
Ok, ok, I'll get on with it. I propose a rule that all Canadian TV viewers be allowed to watch the American broadcast of the Superbowl, with the commercials intact. Because, let's face it, that's the only reason anyone's tuning in anyway.
The extra credit question? Let me ask you this: what about all that you've just read gives you the impression I give a rat's ass?
1 comment:
Hey Paul that doesnt seem fair! Do you have an American friend who could tape the commercials for you? At least you would then know what the rest of us are laughing at......Sandi
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